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May 14th, 2017


06:57 pm - Trying the Dreamwidth
Hey everyone. Tumblr wasn't working out so I'm trying https://relee.dreamwidth.org/ now. Feel free to follow that too. <3

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April 13th, 2017


09:15 pm - Trying the Tumblr
I've looked at the modern Blogging options, and Tumblr seems like the best option for what I use blogging for. So I'mma move over to releesquirrel.tumblr.com

I hope ya'll follow! If you have a tumblr then reply to my first post on mine and we can be tumblr buddies.

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April 8th, 2017


11:23 pm - What to Do About LiveJournal?
So I heard LJ has gone EVEN MORE RUSSIAN and now LGBBQ is off the menu. I guess it's time for all of us to move on to greener pastures?

I don't know what to do about that though. :P

I know some of you are already on Dreamwidth and your LJs are just automatically reposting your Dreamwidth entries. Maybe I should try that? Or maybe I should use my actual blog, though I'm trying to keep that one more professional...

Is anybody left here on LiveJournal? Is anybody staying? Is anybody here JUST FOR ME?

At any rate I'll post something when/if I figure out where to go.

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March 31st, 2017


01:05 pm - One Month Living Within my Means; Failed!
Well this sucks. I spent a whole mess of time at home, not going to the McDonads to work for a month except for one day, and avoiding eating out as much as I could, and leaning on Robby for free meals and groceries, and I still hit the limit on my Credit Card by the end of the month. :/

I don't think I can lower my cost of living any more than I have without going on a Ramen Diet. I need a job asap. :/

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March 28th, 2017


01:52 pm - Work Post
12:15pm - Well yesterday was a flop but this morning I got a call that my appointment today would have to be postponed, giving me more time to do my homework. Ironically this may make it harder to do what needs to be done. When stress pushes me to the wall I can often push back at the last minute, which isn't now anymore. I decided I'd try to do it anyways, so I've come out to the McDonalds even though the month hasn't ended yet. I got the cheapest meal I'm comfortable with and now it's time to begin.

1:51pm - There, it's done. The mountain is passed and it's all downhill from here. Speaking of Downhill, one of the main companies I'm targetting changed their website and nolonger lists the open position I was hoping to apply for. Alas. We'll see if the Job Developer can pry it back open for me when we reach that stage in the process.

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02:27 am - Day Post
2:15pm - Well, it took a while but I've gotten out of bed, out of my room, and onto the sofa. I'm feeling pretty down today, which is not good because tomorrow is the day I have my next meeting with my job counsellor and I haven't done any of the homework she asked me to do. :/

The most basic portion of work I can do is to make a big Super Resume, with all the things on it in maximum detail, so that my Job Counsellor can trim it down to the most essential stuff.

I really don't want to do this, emotionally speaking. It's a huge chore and very depressing. :/

I was hoping that by writing down what I needed to do here in my LJ it would make things start rolling in my head; if anything they're rolling the wrong way. I'm going to hide for a while. Maybe until 3 or 4. If I give myself deadlines like that to think about coming back to my work, maybe I'll think about it more fluidly. We'll see.

4:38pm - Still feeling down. Got myself distracted with all kinds of RP and social engagement. I don't know what I'm doing. I like the RPs that the others are doing, but my end feels like a chore. Like, why am I doing this chore and not the chore I'm supposed to do? *sigh*

7:33pm - After hours of roleplaying on f-list with little to eat, I finally opened up my old resume. Now I just need to do something with it. :/

2:26am - Well the day has passed and all I did was open the resume. Well, I'll do the best I can between breakfast and my appointment tomorrow.

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March 24th, 2017


06:39 am - Day Post
8:07am - Well, it's been a hard week for me. The last two days in particular were awful. But I did some things over the last week all the same. I finished World of Final Fantasy for example. Fun game, very interesting. I was surprised they didn't include even more characters from other Final Fantasy games, but I suppose they could only squeeze in so much. You could blink and miss the Final Fantasy 14 reference. Also it draws into focus, I think it would be really cool to see some of the classic Final Fantasy games redone with modern graphics. They did Final Fantasy 4 like that, but I mean, like, PS4 or better graphics, like with World of Final Fantasy. I'd love to see the final bosses of Final Fantasy 4, 5, and 6 in the style of the final boss of World of Final Fantasy. But anyways I digress. I didn't start writing this to talk about World of Final Fantasy.

I've really fallen off the tracks lately. My sleep schedule has been MESSED UP the last week. I even missed my very important meds a couple days because I fell asleep on accident, without my CPAP machine, for long enough to be a night's sleep. Pretty bad. Yesterday though I was able to go to bed at a reasonable time, take all my meds and use my CPAP machine and this morning I feel really good for the first time in a week.

But I'm not really sure what to do with myself next!

I've got some things I'm supposed to do, some things I want to do, some things I don't want to do... Lots of stuff on my plate, and I need to figure out where to start and what steps to take. So that's why I'm writing this.

First off I'm going to try to list the things I want or don't want to do, in no particular order.

Call the Dentist about a broken filling

Make a giant resume with all the things for my Job Counsellor to pare down into a workable resume

Update my blog with current information

Update my portfolio on my blog

Get my programs from college portfolio ready

Trim my beard

Get a haircut

Make Breakfast and Eat It

Play Xenoblade Chronicles again

Play Duelyst more and hopefully not run into a legendary champion with thousands of wins and all the cards this time

Play Torment: Tides of Numenera

Play Phantom Brave PC more

Make Lunch and Eat It at the Kitchen Table for my Therapy homework

Contact the Humane Society about socializing animals



Alright I think that's all the things I want to do for now. That's a lot of things!

Let's see... Right now the sun is shining on me pretty hard so I'd rather not do any gaming until later, or working on my portfolio or resume. The bathroom is fine, so I guess I'll go beard trim now. Then I'll make breakfast, and then I'll try and call my dentist about the tooth.

After that I'll come back to the list and think about what I'm ready for.

8:41pm - I trimmed my beard nicely but when I went into the kitchen to make breakfast I realized I didn't want to cook/eat anything. That's not abnormal for me but it's also not healthy. I had a snack when I got up so that might be what's preventing me from preparing food now. I'll give it some time.

The sun is still bright where I'm sitting so I'm not sure what to do next. Maybe I should check the hours for the hair salon I like to go to?

Oh, they open in about 15 minutes. That's handy. I'll get dressed, go out and get a haircut and breakfast. <3

Be back soon!

9:55am - Got breakfast, took my pills, and had a haircut. Pretty expensive overall but a good bit of self-care.

Now I'm back home and the sun is high enough that it's illuminating the room rather than my face. Also Robby's up.

I just did some self-care that while seeming begnign was probably subconciously stressful. At any rate I don't feel like doing any of the work things I listed earlier, so I'll try some of the play things.

Robby's using the T.V. so no Xenoblade, and my gamepad is in the other room so I don't want to play Phantom Brave. That means either Duelyst or Torment, and Torment is kind of stressful, so I'll start off easy with some Duelyst!

10:50am - That's my daily quests done in Duelyst, and I don't feel like playing anymore right now. Anymore Duelyst that is. Now I have to choose between playing some Torment or working on my various chores.

Oh I know what I can do, I'll call up my dentist. Then I'll get back to that quandry.

11:10am - The dentist appointment is for much later than I expected. I think my Dentist is having a vacation or something. But the appointment is made. Also apparently next month is April and not May! Ha-hah! Hah hah hah...

Also I'm feeling a bit conficted. I'm close to playing Torment but I kind of want to just lay back and chill out for a while too. So, I'mma do the latter, then maybe the former.

3:17pm - I ended up napping for about three hours. Oh well. XD

I just found out my friends on Final Fantasy 14 are moving to a different server, but they've offered to pay my way across too, so that's good. If I remember correctly, we're switching to the Hyperion server? Of course I still haven't finished the original game, let alone the expansion content to get into the endgame like they are. And there's another expansion in the pipe! XD So it's nice of them to offer to pay my way across to the new server too. They said they'd make the same offer to another friend on that server we play with, which is good 'cause I was worried about leaving him behind after he made and leveled up another guy just to join us there. XD

I just had a small snack and it's time to decide what to do next. Robby's at work now so I could play Xenoblade, or I could play Torment, and I got my gamepad from the other room so I could also play Phantom Brave, and I remembered that I hadn't been playing Diablo 3 which I'd like to finish, so that's on the table too. But I think I'm going to push through my stressors and play Torment. I don't like how I've been avoiding it after the trouble of getting it from a friend so soon after it came out, and when I wanted to play it so much before I got it! So we'll give that a go.

6:15pm - Alright I played Torment for at least two hours, probably more. I spent some time before playing talking to a couple people, but that's alright. They had importantish things to say, and one I hadn't spoken with for a while and it was nice to have someone contact me instead of the other way around.

Now I'm going to rest some more. We'll see what comes of that.


6:34am the next day - WHAT THE HELL ME!? I go to cuddle for a half hour and then I wake up near midnight, but I can't get myself to move out of bed AGAIN. I struggle and suffer and drift in and out of sleep for another six hours before I can finally get out of bed. This is the second time in a few days this has happened to me, and I don't like it at all. :/

Now it's twelve hours later and I had plans for around 7pm yesterday. Damnit.

Anyways this is yesterday's post, so I'll post it now...

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March 23rd, 2017


07:56 am - The Golden Power
Sunrises from this apartment usually look bright gold and gradually rise into the air, usually shining in my face and blinding me after a while, but before then, it just beams in these gold rays. Reminds me of Zelda 3.

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March 7th, 2017


04:15 am - They're At It Again
So I just got an email from Iron Realms Entertainment. They're hiring a part time coder for Achaea. I'm a game programmer, I've always liked MUDs and I want to get paid, so I think I'm a good fit for this position. Plus it pays poorly and is part time so there shouldn't be too much competition... Maybe.

Anyways it means I need to get my act together quickly. Not tonight quickly, it's too late in the morning for me to do anything serious or important, but probably tomorrow.

I'm really excited about the prospect though and I don't know what to do with myself in the mean time.

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01:15 am - 7DRL Work Post
Just to put it down, I've decided to give up on the 7DRL challenge for this year. This was a bad week for me and I think I have more important things to do.

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